Moving Forward

my mom got it exactly right when she said we need twelve more hours everyday to get things done but at the same time having only three hours is more than we want. there is just so much going on.

last thursday was val imlay's funeral and it was wonderful. everyone did a great job speaking and there was such a special Spirit there. she was an amazing women who will be dearly missed. unfortunately we haven't made it to the other services due to family and friends in town and trying to finalize our own services. we will miss all ten people very much.

that evening was a second memorial put on by the city, with the mayor conducting. it was amazing. we were directed down a ramp at the centrum and taken into a holding area. at one point gov. huntsman was escorted in and began visitng and shaking hands with the families of the victims. then elder steven snow from the presidency of the first quorum of the seventy presented a letter to each family, from the first presidency of the church. what a powerful testimony that was to me that we are being watched over and prayed for. It is comforting to be able to read their witness of the plan of salvation and that we will see our family members again. there was beautiful music from the orchestra and choirs and it was a very special meeting. once again it was an opportunity to feel supported and bouyed up by the community.

friday morning, we headed to the cabin again so my siblings and i could finish working on our talks for the funeral. instead we ended up playing rummikub. i am addicted to that game! we just needed some time away from everything going on, and everyone in town, to just enjoy being together and relax before the visitaion and funeral.

our friends did a spectacular job at setting up tables to display pictures and things that represented my dad and dallin outside the visitation. it looked better than we could have ever imagined! it was perfect. i loved the picture of my mom and dad in mexico- my mom in her swimsuit, in the sun and my dad a few feet away, long sleeves, hat, jeans, and in the shade. always a dermatologist!

i was really nervous to see the caskets that night, and wasn't sure what my reaction would be. when i turned the corner and saw them both side by side, my dad and my brother, with all the flowers around them, i was instantly emotional. it took my breath away and i couldn't help but cry because i missed them. but after a minute, we had a family prayer and i felt much better. i have to be honest, after that, i hardly even thought about the caskets. thats not where they are when i picture them. i picture them alive and happy, full of glory and looking like perfect forms of themselves. my mom says she thinks of my dad as a 25 year old hottie! that was weird to think about. to me, the caskets just physically represented our loss.

i excited to see all the family and friends that came out to support our family. A LOT of people came that knew my family in tucson, it was amazing! i was ready for a break from crying but little did i know, WE would be the ones helping to console everyone else! it felt weird to be composed when hugging others who were crying. it just goes to show that we are still on a roller coaster and sometimes we cry and sometimes we don't. but i hope it didn't seem like we weren't sad and that we don't miss them! sometimes it hits me so hard that they are gone that i can barely breathe.

then came saturday - funeral day. (i'll have to write about this later!)