time seems to crawl and race by at the same time.
a copy of the funeral program is hanging on the door of my fridge - it's been there since the day i returned to AZ. a constant reminder to me of who we lost, who we love, and who we will see again. it's going to hang there till i get this picture framed and on my wall (this was the picture used on the program). i want it to help motivate me to be better. to be more like them. more diligent, more selfless, and more Christ-like.
it hasn't gotten easier with time, at least not for me. the pain and sense of loss hasn't lessened and at times still seems unbearable. i can't help but wonder why my family is having to endure this test, especially while we are so far apart from each other - az, ut, japan. then i remember i am learning to rely on my faith and on my Savior, and on the Atonement. and that even though this doesn't seem to be getting easier, i know our burden is still being lightened.
i think about chris constantly, being in japan. he is working so hard to be the best missionary he can, but is grieving at the same time. he sends us amazing letters that really strengthen and uplift us. and he put into words, exactly how i feel in his last letter.
"I know we are being blessed so much, even during this time of trial.
I've changed my thinking, actions, and everything as a result, and hope to always strive to be better.
This trial truly is redefining my life, as I think it is all of ours.
We just need to let it, in a good way...
Let us continue, together, to live so that we might be exalted and live together forever."
I've changed my thinking, actions, and everything as a result, and hope to always strive to be better.
This trial truly is redefining my life, as I think it is all of ours.
We just need to let it, in a good way...
Let us continue, together, to live so that we might be exalted and live together forever."
december 2007
dallin and kamber's wedding - may 2007
4th of july 2008
seeing madison for the first time
my brother
6 comments:
This is a wonderful tribute. Chris sounds like he is strengthened and able to work hard, despite his mourning. I would imagine he has many many opportunities to talk about his dad and brother, about death and about eternal life and about his testimony of the resurrection. A tender mercy in the midst of this trial.
Hang in there. I am so impressed by your attitude and strength.
I was talking about your family the other day, and how hard life much be with out them with you. You, and your family, are in our prayers.
Marie you and your family are amazing! I am so impressed with your attitude and strength! You guys are constantly in my thoughts and prayers! Love you!
this always breaks my heart. what your brother wrote is so wise.
i was thinking about you guys today (you & yours, kamber & porter and your mom) and wondering how you were doing, but I knew you'd post. :) Ron and I went to the temple and I was just consumed by thoughts of you all. Once again, I am sad we aren't closer to give you a hug. If you are going to be in town for any of the holidays and have some time, we'd love to see you - or babysit, or whatever.
You and your family are constantly in our prayers and thoughts Marie. We love you all so very much and marvel at your strength, as well as the rest of your family, during this difficult trial of the loss of your father and Dallin. We send our continues prayers and thoughts your way. You are truly a daughter and sister your father and brother are proud of. With love, Sherri and Bryan
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