a lot has happened in the two years they've been gone.
these two were born.
they married.
which means my kids have one more grandpa.
porter gets this guy (said affectionately) as a dad - after the wedding next month.
first anniversary.
our "first" memorial day.
and our second.
not pictured: birthdays, macy's accident, a move to AZ, a college freshman, a move to MO, a first home, match day, a miscarriage, new callings, graduations, and an elder's safe return - plus all the small things in between. there have been really, really hard times; that can't be put into words. i think that unless you've lost someone, you can't fully understand how it feels or what it's like.
i miss their voices, mannerisms, and smiles. i miss them because they lived and loved to serve, both in the church and out, and i want to be more like that. they valued family and the gospel. though not perfect, they were continually progressing and trying to do better. to be better. they loved everyone and looked for the good in people.
i miss them because i love them.
and i love them more, because i miss them.
despite all the heartache, i am full of joy. (interesting to find both of those words in the same sentence, but it's true.) i have learned so much. my testimony, of the plan of salvation, the importance of families, and of my Savior, has grown leaps and bounds. thankfully, i feel stronger because of this. i'm still not grateful for this trial (will i ever be?) but i am grateful for what i have felt and realized and learned.
what matters-
my family
my testimony
my relationship with the Savior
and Heavenly Father
that i obey the commandments
that i am happy
(come what may and love it, right?)
trusting in the Lord means accepting His will and His timing
not pictured: birthdays, macy's accident, a move to AZ, a college freshman, a move to MO, a first home, match day, a miscarriage, new callings, graduations, and an elder's safe return - plus all the small things in between. there have been really, really hard times; that can't be put into words. i think that unless you've lost someone, you can't fully understand how it feels or what it's like.
i miss their voices, mannerisms, and smiles. i miss them because they lived and loved to serve, both in the church and out, and i want to be more like that. they valued family and the gospel. though not perfect, they were continually progressing and trying to do better. to be better. they loved everyone and looked for the good in people.
i miss them because i love them.
and i love them more, because i miss them.
despite all the heartache, i am full of joy. (interesting to find both of those words in the same sentence, but it's true.) i have learned so much. my testimony, of the plan of salvation, the importance of families, and of my Savior, has grown leaps and bounds. thankfully, i feel stronger because of this. i'm still not grateful for this trial (will i ever be?) but i am grateful for what i have felt and realized and learned.
what matters-
my family
my testimony
my relationship with the Savior
and Heavenly Father
that i obey the commandments
that i am happy
(come what may and love it, right?)
trusting in the Lord means accepting His will and His timing
{siblings on cedar mountian- memorial day weekend/chris's homecoming}
so much has changed.
so much is different.
it's been a long and eventful two years.
but even as much as it hurts not having dallin in this picture with us, it makes me smile because it shows we are happy. life keeps going and we don't want to be left behind. there is so much to enjoy. so much to be happy about. and so much to celebrate.
life is good.
and that's all.
5 comments:
you're so amazing, marie. thanks for sharing you inner-most thoughts and beautiful perspective on life.
I completely agree with you. You said everything so perfect. We still miss all of them but we can still find happiness in life because of the gospel. Your family is amazing and how grateful I am for each of you and your testimonies.
Wow a lot has happened in the last 2 years! You and your family are incredible though for your continued strength and willingness to keep on going living life to the fullest.
Love you, Marie! I hope you are planning/able to attend Kamber's reception in Cedar, I can hardly wait to hug you.
I've been thinking a lot of your family the past two weeks. I still ache for your family and how hard life has to be everyday. But you and your family show such strength and faith, and there is a sweet beauty in that. You make all of us remember what's truly important and encourage us to be less petty a more loving.
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